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February 2005

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A concerned reader As it has now bee...

Times Past | 7th February 2005, 21:55  
The joyous times of 'Christmas' past, the family who I command have returned to their daily routines of work and learning; once again have left mother and I to our own desires. Having chased the squirrel all afternoon however, I had tired out my little body and settled down stretched out on the sofa for a nap. My mind began to wander back to a time when I was slightly more active... a time before I came to this place.

"Spot's personal log, Stardate 47653.2. It would appear that I am pregnant. This is good news, as I have noticed a lack of pets amongst the crew of this vessel, and if I can populate it with my progeny then I can gradually take over the minds of the crew through their pets."

I had delivered the line with perfection, knowing damn well that despite its presence in the script, they were hardly likely to actually include Data's cat's log entry on the final show. Not the only problem with the script mind - the previous episode I had been in I was a male! I was scooped up from the floor by the actor who played Data – he holds me so clumsily, the damn android, and the director called 'Cut'.

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I must admit, I have always thought that the entire premise of having a cat aboard the Starship Enterprise was a little silly. Is he/she meant to be able to roam the vessel at will? Surely they wouldn't expect a cat to stay in ones quarters, we are a territorial animal. How does the cat get between decks? Do the turbolifts have cat voice recognition? Does he mark out his territory around Data's quarters? Do the crew leave litter trays in the corridors? Of course, I never voiced these concerns to the creative staff - they might have written my character out.

I spotted Rick, the big boss, who had appeared on one of his rare visits to the set, and made my way over, rubbing myself around his ankles. As the Ferengi say on the other Star Trek show, it never hurts to suck up to the boss, and I was after a part in the forthcoming movie.

I followed the other actors as they left the soundstage and headed to their trailers. They would be having a short break before heading for lunch, and would more than likely offer me some delicious titbits from the canteen.

I was, however, brought abruptly back to the present by the shrill tone of the device that the family use to communicate with the outside world and listened in as they answered. Someone called Wilson I gathered, calling about some contract. Nothing interesting, so I stretched myself out and padded out of the room, looking for something to chase.

Ah the old life was good, but I've grown up now – enjoying the chance to take life more slowly. Perhaps I wouldn't mind dabbling back into the celebrity world again though – that brief appearance in Nemesis a few years ago was fun after all...
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