Apologies for my prolonged absence, the cuddly one had gone back to his educational establishment and selfishly took my computer with him. It happened suddenly one morning, I nuzzled his cheek and after scratching behind my ear he was gone in a shastrix of luggage. Unbeknownst to me it was the last I would see of him for many weeks. The feeling of desertion soon passed after walking into his room; acres of uninterrupted quilt bathed in a golden silence were now mine. Refreshed from my nap I wandered over to my computer; this was when it dawned on me that the computer shaped void in he dust behind his desk meant he had left me exiled from the outside world.

I was about to break into a cold sweat, were it not for my lack of sweat glands; but the noise of another whirring box caught my ear. Now why didn't I use this computer? you ask. Well, would you be seen using a P3-500 with only 256 meg of RAM, encased in a beige monstrosity; for the love of God it didn't even have a natural keyboard. I knew you'd understand.

Anyways, no harm done. The severing of my umbilical cord to the Internet allowed me to get in touch with my intellectual side; chess, yachting, and of course Fraiser. By reading this, one would hope that you would have narrowed the possibilities down to his return from university, my discovering of an Internet Caf? in Kidderminster, or my plans for neural integration with an optical information matrix having early success.