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June 2007

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Ring ring | 22nd June 2007, 10:25  
As the BBC reports, a young lady has taken her school to court because they refuse to allow her to wear a 'chastity ring'. Her argument is that Sikhs and Muslims are allowed to wear 'bangles' and 'headscarves', so she should be able to wear her ring. She ignores, of course, the fact that her ring is not a requirement of her religion, merely something she has chosen to wear, whereas those of other faiths have requirements for their clothing.

As an adherant to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I fully support her actions, on the condition that I too, and my fellow pastafarians, are granted equal rights to wear our own religious dress in school.

This of course would include the right to wear my own ring symbolising my faith in the FSM. The ring is of course made from dryed noodles, nothing less would do, and must be worn continuously, and never removed. That the noodley ring might get wet through rain, sweat, or even swimming is besides the point, and the idea that a damp noodley ring might grow mould is utterly ridiculous. You would only see the mould if you did not believe. Otherwise of course the devine noodle would remain in a perfect, pristine state. Forever.

It is of course impotant to allow the wearing of pirate costume also, in order to combat global warming. Hence, were I still at school, I would have to insist on at least a bandana.

ASH | 23rd June 2007, 04:17  
Quite right; more people should dress as pirates - to combat the ninjas and save our planet... It is well known that the decrease in global pirate population is directly correlated with the increase in world temperatures.

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