I have often thought that "a nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for" needed a word. However, after reading The Meaning of Liff (or it might have been the Deeper meaning of Liff) I noticed one already existed; so rather than devise my own, I thought it best to adopt the one provided by Douglas Adams et al.. It's a rather useful word which can apply to many things and situations (mainly food in my case) such as: Fish and Chips, McDonalds, Hot Dogs, and Pot Noodles.

- ah•ber•wrist•wiff / n
Person A: You know what I fancy right now...
Person B: No! Don't even think it.
Person A: Buh... Big Mac 0_o

You've all probably encountered adwots without even knowing it, much to your annoyance. Adwots is an acronym which has entered the vernacular. They are automatic doors which open too slowly.

- add•whats / n
Person A: ...have we got Hairy Baby at five?
Person B: Dunno, might be Cupboard Monster.
Person A: oh righ... *smack*

Roughly means the same as 'oh right...' or 'oh yeah...'

- ah•sah / int
Person A: What was the name of that place again?
Person B: Prague
Person A: ah sah

A filler word, often used to start a new conversation, change the course of a conversation, fill a gap in a conversation, or to end a conversation...

- any•ways
Anyways... onto the next definition

This one seems normal enough but surprisingly isn't a word. Who needs the extra space I ask...

- as•well / adj, adv
*buys the other bar of chocolate aswell*

Has the same meaning as away, often used in MSN to signal an absence, after which there will be no further comments.

- a•weh / adv
Person A: Well I best be off
Person B: Okay cyas
Person A: *aweh*

There are also other words that carry the ending -eh, notably 'pleh' as in play.

Alternate spelling of bizarre

- bis•sar / adj, adv
Person A: I just found a courgette in my coconut flavoured midget pyjamas
Person B: Bissare

To fail on the second attempt, having also failed the initial attempt.

- blay•kuh / v
Person A: How did you do on your driving test?
Person B: I blaked it v_v

Bread which has been toasted on only one side. Alternatively one could refer to this phenomenon as 'tread'...

- bro•ssst
Broast is useful when cooking cheese-on-toast, the cheese may be added at this stage to prevent over-toasting of the crusts.

To say something in a manner that you know will be interpreted as sarcasm, but actually mean what you are saying...

Person A: You do realise that nobody likes you?
Person B: lol

A small odourless fart, or series of farts which make high pitched 'popping' noises. Fleeples feel as though they have a physical presence in the form of a small bubble which then pops.

- flea•pul / n
Person A: *pop*, *pop-pop-pop*, *pop-pop*
Person B: Have you just fleepled? 0_o

Phonetic spelling of the acronym F.U.B.A.R, meaning 'fucked up beyond all recognition'

- foo•barred / adj
Dammit my XP is foobared

A freash is a typographical error which results in the typing of a different word.

- free•shh / n
Examples of freash:

Birch/Bitch, Song/Snog, Hands/Nads, Of/Or, Form/From, Ratio/Ration, Organism/Orgasm, Absorbtion/Abortion, Conversation/Conservation, Worcestershire/Worcestershite, etc. It should be noted that freash itself was a freash of fresh.

Contraction of 'fucking' and 'retard'. An individual who is particularly stupid and irritating, or one who has committed a stupid act.

- fuck•tard / n
Person A: You mean I'm supposed to keep the receipt?
Person B: You're a fucktard...

Something that is very ugly, or 'fuck-ugly'

- fug•ley / adj
The Chrysler hearse is fugly...

Has the same meaning as 'go' and often succeeds a string of them

- go / v
Person A: I'm just going to go have dinner
Person B: gogogoh!

Something that is very large or 'huge'

- he•ya•ow•juh / adj
Person A: Did you see that kevved up car in town
Person B: Did it have a haouge spoiler on it?
Person A: X'D

Same meaning as hooray!

- huz•zar / int
Malfroid: Why Winston I do believe this is a splendid location for a spot of tea and cucumber sandwiches.
Winston: Huzzah!

An introverted recluse, often a recessive loner avoiding the company of others.

- iso•lutt / n (not to be confused with 'iso-late')
He was a social isolate, forgotten by society.

German, or adoptive 'Ashley' for yes

- yar / adv
Person A: Are you insane?
Person B: Ja ^_^

This is my attempt at a French equivalent for ‘I think not’. If literally translated I think it ends up meaning ‘I do not think’, so I’m not sure if the phrase is 100% correct. Perhaps it is more of an ‘I don’t think so’, but whether that is an honest response type ‘I don’t´think so’ such as:

Person A: Is the Lisseyviggeen stone circle in County Sligo?
Person B: Je ne pense pas.

or whether a more sarcastic or aggrivated ‘I don’t think so’/‘I think not’:

Person A: Don’t make me delete your WoW profile…
Person B: Je ne pense pas.

Maybe it doesn’t work in the same way in French, but meh, ‘tis a good phrase...

The formal name for a toilet

- kid•derr•min•stir / n
Excuse me one moment, I require the kidderminster

To eat, based on the French word 'mange'

- mon•jing / v
*manging some chocolate*

The verbal equivalent of shrugging ones shoulders...

- meh / int
Person A: When considering that we now know that the development of ocular dominance columns is not dictated by the chemospecificity hypothesis of neuronal circuit formation, do you think the experimentation with cats as a model organism was justified?
Person B: Meh.

Especially a University phenomena; a Wednesday with no lecture or work committments.

- mid•week•end / n
Person A: What lectures do you have tomorrow?
Person B: None, it's my midweekend. I'm going to catch up on some sleep...

A conversation (esp. in IM programs) where the messages appear out of order in such a way that a different meaning can be inferred.

- mis•com•pie•lex•econ / n
- mis•com•pie•lex•ecal / adj
Person A: Hi
Person B: Hello
Person A: How are you today?
Person B: Ooh did you see that leaked episode of Family Guy? Stewie took over as Death!
Person B: I'm okay I suppose, my cat died though v_v
Person A: lol ^_^
Person B: ?
Person A: Damn, the conversation got miscompilexical...

Descriptive of a person who only has one view on a subject, and will often not accept the views of others.

- mono•opin•yotic / adj
Person A: As much as I hate Windows, I do think it has benefited computing as a whole
Person B: Nahh Micro$oft su><0rs LOL ME LINUX FANBOYWTFLOL!11!

To be both obscure and obtuse simultaneously

- ob•skewse / adj
What a grotesque hæmangioma you have there, must be a superficial angiomatous nævi to leave you that fugly...

A situation where trying to find a faster method of achieving your goal actually takes longer than if you just starting doing it the simple way in the first place.

- op•tar•dulation
Person A: If you give me a few more minutes I should be able to get this macro working.
Person B: You've been at it for three days now...
Person A: Bu...
Person B: Stop optardulating - I'll start inputting it manually

When I'm in a spiffy mood, I may want to throw a bit of stiff upper lip into my goodbye.

- orrr•fuh
Well now chaps, best be orff

A term used when referring to people, or to the eyes - esp. in reference to sleeping

- peeps / n
So what have you peeps been up to?
I'm going to go rest my peeps...

To peroggle is to stare in the direction of the oncoming transportation you are about to catch, in the hope that by doing so it will arrive sooner. Common examples are people on train platforms leaning dangerously over the edge to be the first to catch a glimpse of the train, or the old women in a bus stop who seem to compete to be the first to identify the bus...

- per•oggle•ers / n
PERSON A: Look at those perogglers over there...
PERSON B: Tards...

- per•oggle•ling / adj
Person A: Didn't you notice the platform was altered?
Person B: No, 0_o
Person A: Probably because you were too busy peroggling...

A fusion of acquire and procure

- pro•choir / v
My contacts at cadbruys allowed me to proquire some of the ex-easter stock of cream eggs.

Spanish and adoptive 'Ashley' for what.

- keh
Person A: Weee marshmallow train cats!
Person B: Qué?

A lesser form of being who cannot understand written sarcasm. Especially in online chat programmes such as MSN

- rut•tuck / n
Person A: OMG LEIK XBOX are teh ÜBER!!1LOL
Person B: Really? I thought they were lame

Person B = a ruttuck

a : a state of utter confusion, a farcical situation.
b : a confused mass or mixture.
c : the property of occurring in a random, hilarious or ironic fashion

- shas•trix / n
OMG look at that shastrix of mutated cyber goats attacking the children.

- shas•treh•cal / adj, adv
PERSON A: Why don't we run naked through those thistles...
PERSON B: You can't be serious... that would be shastrical.

- shas•treh•cal•lee / adv
Sadly Timmy was shastrically mauled by a disgruntled llama yesterday...

The rubbing of butter into the skin of a newly hatched badger.  It is imperative that this happens within the first 48 hours, or the badger will lose all its flavour.

- sm•eel / v
Quick! Smeal that badger!

Another word combo of the 'aswell' variety

- such•as
Suchas can used in situations suchas this one.

To not have an opinion, or to be impartial regarding a situation.

- swit•sir•land / n
Person A: Don't you think Matthew is being arsey over the issue?
Person B: I'm switzerland on this one...

Abbreviation of retard, which is used in reference to somebody who is stupid, or acting stupidly.

- tard / n
Person A: I just stapled my thumb >_<
Person B: You tard...

Of modern youth. Often found on street corners, school driveways, or in town centres. They could be considered the precursors to chavs and are usually of pre-high school age. Twats-kids may be considered mostly harmless and usually only resort to the shouting of mildly offensive phrases, however, large groups should be avoided like a grasshopper avoids ants.

- twat•kids / pl. n
Person A: Ugh, look at those twat-kids on the corner there...
Person B: Can't we just mount the pavement?

Not a very elegant word, but it has entered common usage nonetheless. A wordo, short for ‘wordographical’ error perhaps, is much like a typo; though instead of a spelling mistake, one writes or speaks an incorrect word.

- word•doe / n
Person A: Don’t forget to pick up your triangle.
Person B: Triangle? 0_o
Person A: WTF, I meant umbrella...

A variety of smiley face, literally a person with squinted eyes and a tear exhibiting a large smile.

- ecks•dee
Person A: Arrgh, one dozen starving, crazed weasels have just latched to my face.
Person B: X'D

A celebration, or tongue-in-cheek response.

Person A: You can't be serious can you?
Person B: *does dance*